God Complex
by Mymomomo
Summary: Momo recovers from the Winter War, but she proves that her loyalty to Aizen outweighs her loyalty to her friends and the Seireitei's peace is shattered. Toushiro is left to pick up the pieces, but things look grim when all evidence points to him aiding Aizen as well. If there's one thing he won't stand for, it's being played like a pawn in a game of chess.
1. Let's Get Better, Okay?

**Hello all, **

**As a told a few people I'm here with a new story. I can't really stay long without writing something... anything. ****So, I'm drawn to psychological dramas, and this could be considered my attempt at one - Toushiro being my main victim, of course. **

**This one is set directly after the Winter War. Ichigo has lost his powers and is out of the game, Aizen has been thrown into Muken, the Espada disposed of, and the Soul Society is trying to piece itself back together. I personally thought that Kubo could have spent a little more time tying up the lose ends the war left behind, but noooo he couldn't wait to jump into the next arc. Anyway this is my shot at continuity. **

**And so, prepare yourselves for a (moderately) long ride of mind-games, heart-wrenching feelings, and how people actually recover from a war.**

* * *

Part One - Recovery

Chapter One - Let's Get Better, Okay?

...

"I believe that this is checkmate, my friend."

"It looks like that, doesn't it?"

"Your key player is out of the game."

"Ah but so is yours. Mine is simply locked up; whereas yours has lost all his power. Who has the better draw now?"

"My pieces still outnumber yours, or do you have another trick up your sleeve?"

"I have many tricks up my sleeve. Do you still wish to play?"

"Of course, but let's change the rules a bit, shall we?"

"How so?"

"A new board, perhaps? There are many different pathways we can take."

"Shall we pick new players?"

"I think it's time we do."

...

_Look at all these brave soldiers, standing so neat and pretty. They know not of their demise, or of the people who sit safely and unseen, playing out a puppet show and laughing as they die. If they knew that they were just part of a game would they fight so willingly? Would they still lay down their lives for blank faces? Would they still turn to the puppet masters with trusting, bright eyes?_

_Look at all these stupid men, standing in rows like sheep. The battles they fight are just old men's pastimes. Duty and honour is already decided; their movements already planned out as they are yanked into action, arms and legs bent for a marionettes' morbid show. They fight for their lives, but they have already been marked by fate the moment which they entered the cruel game. _

_Look at all these pretty puppets as they dance on their strings. It is a long, tiring, and misguided dance, a dance for the pleasure of others. They struggle along with the complex steps. Often do they stumble and fall, but are yanked upright by a harsh jerk of a string. The poor, worn, pretty, little puppets are only cut loose when they die._

_And sometimes not even then. _

...

Only two more pages to go and he could call it a night. He cracked his knuckles and dipped his brush into the ink pot. As he bent over to sign his name at the bottom of the page a sudden lancing pain shot through his left shoulder. He froze, his vision went red, and he felt a sharp blade slice through muscle and bone. He even heard the thump of his arm falling to the floor and felt warm blood pour down his side. He clenched his jaw to keep from shouting in pain and the room began to spin around him –

"Captain?"

Toushiro gasped, clutching his left shoulder and jerking upright. He sat for a couple minutes with his eyes closed and his right hand gripping the rough fabric of his _kosode_. He almost sighed in relief when he felt that his left arm was still attached to his body. Had he fallen asleep? He must have. Eventually, after what felt like an eternity to him the throbbing subsided and he let his arm fall back to the desk.

"Captain?" Rangiku asked in concern. She was halfway off of the couch and was waiting for his response before she rushed to his side.

"I'm fine, Matsumoto." He ran a hand across his forehead, grimacing as he collected a few beads of sweat on his palm.

"You dozed off again. Haven't you been sleeping well lately?" Rangiku sank back down onto the couch and rested her chin on the backrest.

"I'm fine," he repeated firmly, "If you're not going to do any work then you might as well go home."

"Did you dream of the war again?"

He raised an eyebrow. "This is neither the time nor place to discuss this, Matsumoto."

She sighed. "You're going to make yourself go crazy if you continue to keep things bottled up like this. No wonder you're having so many nightmares."

He rolled his eyes. What did she know? She drank herself to sleep every night. Having nightmares were somewhat healthy at least. This was all a part of his recovery and he was determined to get better.

...

"That's it, Captain Hitsugaya, just five more."

Captain Unohana's voice had the small, white-haired _shiniami_ swearing viciously in his mind. Sweat was dripping down his arms and back, making it seem like he had been caught in a rain storm. He was lying on his stomach on a mat with a resistance band hooked around his left ankle and was attempting to bend his knee, stretching the band towards his body. It had been a simple exercise at first, but after what seemed like a thousand repetitions the muscles of his newly healed leg were screaming in agony. Unohana at least counted down the last five with him and when he reached the last one he let his leg fall to the floor with a loud thump. His hamstrings were spasming almost rhythmically and he was ready to believe that he would not be able to walk out of the exercise room.

"Good job," Unohana congratulated him, "that's it for the day. I hope you've been remembering to do your stretches every night, and I'll see you again next week."

She smiled at him when he mustered up the energy to roll over and sit up. His left arm felt like jelly and was very unresponsive from a few pervious exercises. He was breathing heavily and was a bit miffed that such simple exercises had him so worn out. Unohana noticed his irked expression and patted his sweaty shoulder in reassurance.

"It'll get better; physiotherapy isn't an easy road for anyone. Remember when we had just started and you could barely even move your arm and leg? Now look at you; you can almost walk on your own."

He nodded and stood up, using the wall to help him balance. Unohana handed him a glass of water and when he had finished drinking, a crutch. He sighed and hooked the crutch under his left shoulder.

"Thank you, Unohana," he mumbled as he hobbled out of the exercise room. "But I'm still looking forward to the day when I don't have to use this thing."

She chuckled, "Be patient; you can't rush healing."

He sighed again and grabbed his uniform and captain's _haori_ from a hook by the door. "I'll see you next week. "

She waved him goodbye with one hand as she scribbled a few notes in his file with the other.

The thunking of the crutch on the wooden floor of The Fourth Division made him shake his head. It had only been just over a month since the Winter War and nobody was fully healed yet. He should have been happy that just last week he had been told that he could suffice with one crutch instead of two, but he was angry that his training had been put on hold. He could feel Hyourinmaru rumble in agreement. A few people had it just as bad, though; Soi Fon had also lost an arm – he had seen her in physiotherapy a couple times – and the head-captain was not able to get a replacement for the arm he lost in battle. Since he had blown his arm off with _kido_ it was impossible for them to reattach a new one. Toushiro did not pretend to understand the logistics of reattaching limbs and nor did he really want to.

Yes, it was going to be a while before the Seireitei was whole again.

It took him much longer than usual to get back to The Tenth – regardless of the fact that he stopped at the bath house to clean his body of all the sweat and to change back into his uniform. He greeted a few of his men in the hallways, nodding in response to their salutes. He always felt slightly awkward when they saw him hobbling about on his crutches. How could he possibly be a leader when he couldn't even walk properly? But, up to this day, he was always pleasantly surprised when they offered their well-wishes for a speedy recovery and told him, with smiles, that the training grounds weren't the same without him.

Toushiro had been likewise shocked when he had first awoken after his surgery and found his room full of bouquets and boxes of chocolates and other confections from several of his men and was even more stunned at the amount of visits he had received. He still had not figured out a way to show his thanks, however, so he had given them more time off than necessary or wrote simple thank you cards and mailed them with their pay checks. Rangiku had laughed and called him cute, but he put her to work after he pointed out that she was the one who had eaten all of his get well chocolates.

Back in the office Rangiku was, of course, sprawled out on the couch and snoring away. He shook his head and went over to poke her with his crutch.

"Hey, get up," he called as she rolled over and yawned. "I've told you before; either get to work or go home."

She groaned as she stretched, "You're so mean, Captain, I'm supposed to be on sick leave."

"Yes, but you haven't 'left' yet. Why even bother to say that when you come to the office every day?"

She shrugged. "I need to make sure you don't work yourself to death."

He rolled his eyes and hobbled over to his desk. "I appreciate the concern, but it's unnecessary."

"Sure, sure. How was physiotherapy, by the way?"

He grumbled and sat down. "Same as last week; it freaking hurts."

She smiled, "Next time you'll think twice before getting your limbs hacked off in battle, huh?"

"Yeah, because I did that on purpose, right?"

She giggled and lay back on the couch.

"Hey, don't go back to sleep!"

When he received no reply he let out a deep sigh and leaned back into his chair. Goddamnit Rangiku, he thought as he picked up his brush and pulled out a small stack of files from his top drawer. Surely her bed was more comfortable than the office couch. But from the years which he had known Rangiku he had learnt that she could sleep almost anywhere. At least like this he could keep an eye on her wellbeing and make sure she didn't drink too much.

Toushiro opened the top file and gingerly picked up the first sheet of paper – a report from one of the platoons he had sent to scour the nearby districts of the _Rukongai_ for unusual hollow activity. Squad Ten had been placed in charge of monitoring any strange hollow activity after the Winter War. The _Gotei_ Thriteen wasn't sure how much Aizen had impacted the hollow levels and wanted to keep an eye on anything strange. Toushiro hadn't minded the extra work; his men needed to be kept busy even if he couldn't participate in the missions himself.

Hyourinmaru rumbled in comfort and he caught himself rubbing his thigh – the place above his knee where his leg had been re-attached. It still throbbed from time to time, especially after his physiotherapy sessions. He had learnt to accept that much, though. What he didn't accept, however, was that it froze up sometimes. His knee often locked itself into place and caused him to stumbled over his own feet. He also had difficulty holding onto and picking up small objects with his left hand – but he was getting better at that with practice.

He scanned the page quickly before moving on to the next one. He would have to decide whether or not he would send out a new platoon to join the current one after this month. He finished reading the report and made a few notes before setting the file to the side and picking up the next one. He would ask Matsumoto her opinion on the matter when she woke up. If she wanted to spend her sick days in the office then he would make do and – try to – put her to work.

Despite telling himself that he would wake his lieutenant in an hour or two he found himself working late into the evening without making any attempt to rouse her from her sleep. He only noticed how long he had been working when he had to get up and turn on the lights. The fluorescent bulbs woke her from her slumber and she looked around confused.

"Is that the time, already? Captain, why didn't you wake me up?" she asked jumping up and stretching.

"I get more done without you awake and disturbing me every five minutes," he grumbled as he limped back to his desk.

He sighed as he slumped back into his chair, noticing that Rangiku was staring at him with a tiled head.

"I feel like a damn old man with this leg," he muttered rubbing at the rough scar through his _hakama_.

She giggled, "But you're a cute old man."

He shot her a sharp glare before shaking his head and picking up another file from the stack in his draw. He was about to open it when it was plucked from his hands. Rangiku stood towering over him with her free hand on her hip.

"I think that's enough work for tonight, Captain. You need to rest."

"Give it back, Rangiku."

"Captain Unohana said-"

"I know what she said. Give it back and we can close up for the night." He held out his hand for the file, pleased when the stiff paper made contact with his palm. He instantly opened it and pulled out the form that lay inside.

"Captain!" Rangiku whined.

"Just this one, then I'll go to bed."

"That's what you always say," she pouted.

Grinning to himself he dipped his brush into the ink pot again, but was disturbed by a knock on the door. He huffed as Rangiku flounced over to slide the door open.

"Yes?" she chirped.

It was a messenger from The Fourth. Toushiro's grin slowly turned into a frown and his heart began to thud heavily against his ribs. There was only one reason why someone from The Fourth would be sent to him at this hour.

"Lieutenant Hinamori has regained full consciousness."

His eyebrows rose; that sentence was not what he had been expecting to hear. It was good news, but troubling nonetheless.

"That's good news, isn't' it, Captain?" Rangiku asked, clasping her hands behind her back and grinning widely.

Toushiro had stopped moving. His brush had fallen from his grasp, spilling ink all over his desk, and his eyes had gone wide. The only sign that he had not suddenly turned to stone was the slow, yet pronounced, rise and fall of his chest.

The messenger had left after he had delivered his message and said that Captain Unohana was expecting him to visit his sister some time that night. Toushiro had not responded and was currently staring off into space seemingly unsure about how to react.

"Captain?"

He blinked, jerking back into reality, and blinked a few times more before turning to Rangiku.

"Yes, I uh, I suppose that is good news," he muttered.

"Let's go visit her."

He paled. "Uh, not now; maybe a little later." Or a lot later.

She frowned and perched herself on the edge of his desk.

"Captain?"

He took a few calming breaths. He hadn't seen Momo since their encounter during the Winter War. Well, he had seen her; he had visited her a few times when she was unconscious. But now... He couldn't fight the fact that he would have to face her eventually. He couldn't hide from her, but he was not looking forward to seeing how she would react to him. He had stabbed her through the chest, after all. He was the one who had put her into a coma, again. How could she possibly forgive him this time? From the way she had seen it, he had rushed at her with all of hell's furry and tried to kill her for no apparent reason. The look of utter shock and disbelief on her face when he realised that it was her, not Aizen, had given him nightmares up till this day. She had even questioned his betrayal before she had fallen unconscious and him attacking her was probably her most recent memory. He could not possibly face her after that and still expect her to accept him with open arms. That would be asking for far too much and Momo, though kind beyond reason, was not a saint.

He gritted his teeth and hung his head. He was not ready to face her just yet. He was not ready to ask, no, he did not deserve to ask for her forgiveness. Rangiku placed a gentle hand on his shoulder.

"You should go see her. I know it's going to be hard, but it's better to get closure now than to sit here wondering. Trust me, if that were Gin waking up I would run to his side without hesitation."

He blinked and looked up at her. "Rangiku, I'm sorry."

"No, Captain, it's fine. But now Momo is awake and I'm sure she's wondering where her little brother is. Let's not keep her waiting."

"She probably doesn't want to see me."

"How do you know that? Momo doesn't keep grudges. And I'm sure she understands the situation. You shouldn't be scared, Captain."

He sighed and she patted him on the head.

"Plus, I'll be right beside you the whole time. If things turn sour I'll be the one to send her back into a coma."

Toushiro shook his head. "That's not funny, Rangiku."

"It is... just a little."

"No. Not in the slightest."

...

"Have you chosen your piece yet?"

"This little one seems intriguing, and I suppose you'll take the girl in that case."

"You know me well, old friend."

"I do, and yet I know not the outcome of this game. Shall we begin?"

"Of course."

...

_Look at all the soldiers, standing in a neat row. See how they wait, like toys, to be played with, to be ruined, damaged, then thrown away. _

_If only they knew. Would they fight back? Would they cut their strings? Would they overturn the game board, attack the puppet masters, and take back their lives?_

_If only they knew._

* * *

**Was it bad, good, worth my time to continue?**

**Well, I've already got this whole thing outlined, so you're stuck with me anyway :)**

**Yes, I was inspired by the nursery rhyme'two little dickie birds' for the italic parts at the beginning and the end. But just who are the two playing games with the little shinigami? **

**Any guesses? If so, you could very well guess my entire plot... maybe :D**

**- Mymomomo**


	2. They Say It's a Good Thing

Part One - Recovery

Chapter Two - They Say It's a Good Thing

...

"Shall we begin, my friend?"

"Soon, there are a few more things I would like to move into place."

"Why? I believe that the board is ideal at this moment."

"It never hurts to add a few more variables. It makes things more challenging, don't you think?"

"Yes, I do love a good challenge."

"I know you do, old friend; that's why you chose the most broken piece on the board."

"Broken he may be, but I see much potential in this little pawn."

"And I see many flaws; flaws which will be your downfall."

"That, we shall see."

...

_It is amazing what people can do in the face of crisis; it is also very pitiful what people do in the face of crisis. Stress is the response of the body to any demand for change. It can be classified as good or bad depending on how the body reacts to it. Good stress can motivate while bad stress can cause burnout, both mental and physical sickness, and even destroy a person's life. _

_But, is it through stress and stressful situations that one can measure their strength. And if the mind and body are strong enough a person can turn out more powerful and better off than they were in the beginning. Of course, that all depends on how one deals with the situation. The mind is a remarkable thing; when dealing with stressful situations it can chose to live in delusions and make the situation worse or fight the situation head-on and overcome all obstacles. _

...

Toushiro paused outside Momo's room. He had stopped so suddenly that Rangiku had run into his back. He stumbled forward slightly before bracing himself on the doorframe.

"Sorry, Captain," Rangiku mumbled and took a step back.

Toushiro sighed and glanced at the closed door. Part of him really did want to barge right in and see his sister, but another part of him wanted to run away in shame. He didn't want to see the look of betrayal and possibly disgust that would surely cover her face. He knew that he should want to see Momo after so long, but he couldn't bring himself to look past the shame and guilt.

Rangiku placed a hand on his shoulder. "Do you need a minute?"

He shook his head. "I think I'll see her tomorrow..."

"What? We're right outside her room now."

"Yes, I know that, Matsumoto-"

"Captain, if you keep putting this off Momo will have a real reason to be mad at you."

"Real reason? She already has a real-"

Matsumoto silenced him by pushing open the door and bouncing in. "Momo, you're awake!"

Toushiro hung his head when he heard Momo reply; her voice was soft and a bit hoarse, but she sounded cheery nonetheless. That was good, he told himself, she was in a good mood. He felt the slightest bit of relief upon hearing her speak, but it was quickly replaced with dread when he heard her ask for him.

"Oh, Captain's right outside. He's really nervous about seeing you." Rangiku answered happily.

"Why is he nervous?" Momo asked quietly.

"Um..." Rangiku poked her head around the door frame. "Come on, Captain."

He frowned at her and folded his arms across his chest then stuffed them into his sleeves. "Who said anything about being nervous?"

"Shiro, is that you?" Momo called upon hearing his voice.

He swallowed in an attempt to steel his nerves. Then picked up his crutch and, with square shoulders, limped into the room.

Momo was lying on the bed propped up by a stack of pillows. She looked thin and frail with dark circles under her eyes and messy hair, but she smiled widely when she saw him. It was all he could do to not let his shoulders slump in guilt and a hard lump formed in his throat.

He cleared his throat with a cough. "Hello, Hinamori, I'm glad to see that you're awake."

"Shiro!" she exclaimed, "What took you so long?"

He blinked. "I... uh, I was working."

She sighed softly, "You're always working."

"Well, I have to; I can't afford to be as carefree as some people."

She looked at him with large, imploring eyes. "Oh, Shiro."

"Enough about that. How are you feeling, 'cause you look terrible."

"Captain, you shouldn't say things like that," Rangiku admonished him.

Momo smiled again. "I'm alright, just a little tired-"

"Then shouldn't you be getting back to sleep? It's very late after all."

"Oh, don't you worry about me. Especially not when you're in this state; what happened to your leg?"

His mouth went dry as he looked down at his crutch. Exactly how was he supposed to bring this up without making her mad? He did not want to say that after he had almost killed her he stupidly rushed at Aizen and had nearly got half his body sliced away. He had deserved it for what he had done to her, but almost getting bisected still couldn't begin to rectify his betrayal.

"Was it from the accident?" Momo went on.

"Accident?" Rangiku asked, tilting her head.

Momo blushed. "That's what Captain Unohana called it. I can't remember how I ended up here; she told me that there was an accident and a lot of people got hurt, but I should focus on recovering instead."

Toushiro blinked in shock; she didn't remember the battle with Aizen? She didn't remember what he had done to her? He swallowed again and his heart began hammering at his rib cage and he felt beads of cold sweat form along his spine. He felt as if someone had hit him over the head with _bokken_; his head was swimming. She didn't remember the Winter War. Could this count as forgiveness? It was probably for the best that she didn't remember; she didn't deserve that kind of pain. She didn't deserve any of the pain he had caused her. He felt a tiny spark of relief blossom in his chest. He tried to ignore it; he should not be relieved at all.

"Well, I guess we can call it that," Rangiku mumbled. "Yeah, everyone's almost all better, so you really shouldn't worry about it."

"Oh, that's great," Momo sighed in relief. "I was worried when I didn't hear from some people yet."

"You only just woke up. I'm sure you'll get more visitors tomorrow."

"I know, but I kind of wanted to see Captain Aizen. I guess he's busy tonight, though, so I shouldn't be so selfish."

Rangiku made a strangled noise in her throat before playing it off as a cross between a giggle and cough. Toushiro had stopped breathing. The small bit of relief he felt had disappeared when she uttered Aizen's name. He felt dread and guilt begin to seep into his body; it wasn't just the Winter War she couldn't recall. How much damage had he caused? Did she think that Aizen wasn't a traitor, or did she not remember that he had left her for dead?

His head began to spin even faster and he began to feel dizzy. He tightened his fist around his crutch as his shoulder and thigh began to throb. No, she couldn't have forgotten all what Aizen had done to her. That bastard did not deserve a clean slate in Momo's eyes.

"Shiro, are you okay?" Momo asked, noticing his discomfort.

Rangiku placed a steadying hand on his shoulder but he shrugged her off.

"I'm fine," he snapped.

Momo obviously didn't believe him, but she knew that he wasn't going to explain anything. "Alright, but if you see Captain Aizen, could you tell him that-"

"I'm sorry to have to cut this meeting short, but Lieutenant Hinamori really should be getting some rest." Unohana strode into the room with a gentle smile on her face.

Toushiro let out a thankful breath.

"But I feel fine," Momo argued.

"You need to recover, and rest is essential. I'm sure Captain Hitsugaya and his lieutenant can visit you tomorrow."

She nodded sadly. "Okay, Shiro, Rangiku, thanks for coming to see me."

Unohana ushered them out of the room and softly closed the door behind her. She led them down the hallway until they were a considerable distance away from Momo's room. Then Unohana turned to Toushiro and Rangiku with a grim look.

"I'm sorry that I wasn't there to warn you about this."

Toushiro ground his teeth together.

"Lieutenant Hinamori has retained severe memory loss. We're not one hundred percent sure of how bad it is yet, but she seems to have forgotten all the events leading up to and after Aizen's defection. In her mind he's still a captain and a good person."

"Is this going to be permanent?" Toushiro asked.

"It's hard to tell at the moment, but I suggest that we play along with it for the time being and refrain from mentioning anything about Aizen until she gets better."

Toushiro chewed his bottom lip. "I understand. Is there anything we can do to help her recover?"

Unohana smiled at him. "Right now I think just having you visit her frequently should help quite a bit. Memory loss isn't uncommon in situations such as hers. Her brain is simply trying to cope by blocking out any stressful memories. I wouldn't worry too much over it, Hitsugaya, just give her your support and I'm sure she'll make a full recovery in no time at all."

He nodded. "Thank you, Unohana. I will visit her often in that case."

They wished each other a good night and he and Rangiku headed back to the Tenth. Toushiro's head was still spinning and the cool night air did nothing to calm him down.

"Well, this has been one hell of a night, hasn't it, Captain?" Rangiku said as she stretched her arms over her head.

Toushiro sighed in agreement. "Yes, it has been very trying."

They walked in silence for a little while. The only sounds were the chirps of the night insects and the wooden thump of Toushiro's crutch.

"Captain," Rangiku said suddenly, "about Momo..."

"What about her?"

"None of this is your fault, you know that, right?"

He paused to glare at her for a second. "I know it's not my fault; I'm not stupid. It's good that she doesn't have to deal with all those memories as soon as she woke up."

"Oh Captain..."

"Don't you 'Oh Captain' me."

...

"And so the board is set, my friend. Are you happy with the product?

"Very; broken pieces make the best players, after all."

...

Toushiro couldn't sleep that night. His shoulder and leg were on fire; they felt as if they had been newly hacked off. Hyourinmaru rumbled in comfort, trying to ease his pain, but even the dragon's ice-cold _reiatsu_ couldn't help him; all he could do was lie still and wait for the pain to subside.

He had dreamt of the Winter War. He had watched himself from above the battle field as he had attacked Aizen and stabbed him straight through the chest. Then, as the illusion shattered, he stared down at Momo's shocked face. Her brown eyes were wide and the life fading fast. Blood leaked out from her mouth, down her chin, and joined the rapidly spreading stain on her chest. However, it was not pain that registered on her face it was betrayal.

"Shiro, why?" she asked, her voice breaking.

He covered his ears as his dream-self let out a terrible roar of agony. He woke with a start, sweating furiously, with his sheets tangled around his limbs.

Toushiro stared at the ceiling and tried to calm his racing heart. More often than not his dreams were disrupted by that memory. All he had to do was let it run its course and he would be fine. His arm and leg would stop hurting eventually then he could force himself to go back to sleep. The room was silent, save for his heavy breathing, and completely dark.

Still, he knew that tonight would not be like every other night he had woken up in pain. He knew that he would not be able to fall back asleep; his mind was a storm. He was happy that Momo would make a full recovery, but she had also lost her memories. So much had changed in the past months. Ichigo Kurosaki had turned the Seireitei upside-down, many _shinigami_ had gotten stronger or perished, rules had been re-written, and so much had been lost. How could he pretend like none of that had happened? He could not make himself forget all that Aizen had done, even if it was for Momo's sake.

His arm throbbed harshly and he grunted in pain. Hyourinmaru rumbled, trying to soothe him, and told him to relax.

"I can't relax," he muttered, rolling over onto his good side. "Momo's lost memories are probably my fault as well. I don't deserve her forgiveness..."

Hyourinmaru growled.

"I suppose, in the long run, I'm too scared to ask for it anyway. I'm a coward, Hyourinmaru-"

"_You are no coward, Little One. There isn't a craven bone in your body."_

"Then why am I relieved that she can't remember?"

The dragon didn't have an answer to his question.

...

Momo recovered physically very quickly, but her memories showed no sign of returning. Toushiro was having a hard time dodging around the matter of Aizen and even though it made him sick to the stomach to act as if he hadn't betrayed them all, he put up with it for his sister. Then the day came that Momo was well enough to be released from the Fourth.

The captains and lieutenants had discussed what was to be done with her until she regained her memories. She was in no state to carry out her position as the lieutenant of the Fifth Division. Since Shinji Hirako was the new captain of the Fifth she could not go back to her old job, but they all agreed that staying in the Fourth would not be the best option for her either. They would have to take extreme precautions around her as they could not afford to lose another seated _shinigami_. Unohana had cautioned them all to not shock her with information about Aizen and the war; Momo's mental state was very delicate and she could very well go insane as a result of carelessness.

"Why not send the girl back to the _Rukongai_ until she recovers?" Shunsi Kyoraku, the captain of the Eighth Division, suggested. He turned to Toushiro, "Your grandmother still lives there, right?"

"I would prefer to have her in a more controlled environment," Unohana stated, "unless we send someone with her, we have no way to make sure that she won't find out about Aizen until she's ready. I'm sure many stories have circulated around _Junrinan_."

"I could simply perform tests on her to aid her in recovering her memories," Mayuri Kurotshuchi, resident mad scientist and captain of the Twelfth, said smugly.

"Absolutely not," Toushiro growled, "she's not some test subject."

Mayuri rolled his eyes. "Did you forget who regenerated her organs in the first place? And how's that new arm suiting you? "

Toushiro clenched his jaw. "It could be better."

"You little-"

"Enough," Yamamoto ordered, tapping his cane on the floor. "Bickering like children won't help us to figure this situation out."

"The Tenth's captain can't help it," Mayuri muttered.

Toushiro narrowed his eyes as Yamamoto gave Mayuri a sharp glare.

"Are there any more suggestions?"

Izuru Kira, Lieutenant of the Third, stepped forward and bowed to the head-captain. He was granted permission to speak. "We could place her under the care of a few close friends. I know that we're all busy, but I'm sure that a few of us could make sure that her recovery goes smoothly. I've heard that seeing familiar faces could help to recover memories."

Renji Abari, lieutenant of Squad Six, stepped forward as well. "I agree with that Idea, we could also make sure that no one let's anything slip about Aizen."

Yamamoto nodded then turned to Unohana.

"This seems reasonable," she said, "But the trouble will lie in making it seem like we're not babysitting lieutenant Hinamori."

"So, who should we select for the job?" Captain Kyoraku asked, scratching his beard.

"Captain Hitsugaya," Yamamoto boomed, "you are related to Lieutenant Hinamori, correct?"

Toushiro nodded. "Yes, sir; I consider her to be my sister."

"Very well, Lieutenant Hinamori will be placed under your care."

Rangiku made a soft disapproving sound. Touhsiro glanced over his shoulder at her, but she just shook her head and continued to stare at the head-captain.

Renji and Izuru offered their help, since they were Momo's former classmates, friends, and knew her well. Captain Hirako promised to make himself scarce as well as the new captain of the Ninth; Kensei Muguruma and the rest of the _visored_ who had taken positions as lieutenants. They would have to come up with a story as to who they were if Momo ever came across them as well as what happened to Azien, Ichimaru, and Tousen.

...

"Why can't I go back to my own room?" Momo whined as Toushiro led her to the Tenth's barracks.

"Because you aren't fully recovered yet, so stop whining like a child." Toushiro snipped.

She pouted. "But I feel fine."

"You are not, however. Be thankful that you don't have to stay in the Forth anymore."

"He's right," Rangiku interjected, "Besides, this way we get to spend the whole day together."

Momo sighed, "I still feel like I should be helping Captain Aizen."

Toushiro stiffened.

"You would be more of a hindrance than a help as long as you don't have all your memories. He'd have to waste a lot of time explaining what is going on." Rangiku supplied. Toushiro had to give it to her; the woman could lie on her feet.

Momo's shoulders slumped slightly.

"Don't let it bother you too much, Momo, I'm sure you'll get better really soon."

She smiled a bit. "I guess you're right, Rangiku."

The strawberry-blond woman slung an arm around Momo's neck and grinned. "It's going to be so much fun. We can stay up all night and have snacks and gossip. Oh, I know we can invite the Women's Association and have a tea party to celebrate your release from the Fourth. We can go to the spa and shop. I'm so excited; I can't wait!"

Momo's smile was full blown now and she clasped her hands together in glee.

"Hey, Rangiku, don't forget you have work tomorrow as well," Toushiro grumbled.

She waved her hand, dismissing his words. "I'm on sick leave, Captain."

"No," he growled, "you're not."

She giggled then continued to plan events with Momo until they reached the room she would be using then left her to get settled in. The heads of the Tenth then made their way back to the office.

"Rangiku," Toushiro spoke as he sat down at his desk. He had been standing for most of the day and, even though his leg had healed enough that he could walk by himself, it still bothered him slightly.

"Yes, Captain?" Rangiku replied, sinking into the couch.

"What was that about during the meeting? You acted as thought you didn't want Hinamori to be placed under my care."

She sighed, tilting her head back. "Well to be frank, you're still recovering as well."

He narrowed his eyes. "You didn't think I could handle it?"

She turned to him and was silent for a while. "I know you can handle it, but I don't want you to push yourself too hard. Momo has put us all in a difficult situation and I don't want you to be the one to shoulder the burden all by yourself."

Toushiro frowned slightly, pausing as he opened one of the files sitting on his desk. "Kira and Abarai are going to help. You don't need to worry about me all the time; I won't over do it."

She raised an eyebrow. "Promise me that."

"What?"

"I said; promise that you won't over do it."

He sighed, "Matsumoto-"

"I know how you are, Captain, now promise me you will take care of yourself as well, or I'll go to Yamamoto and tell him that you aren't fit for the job."

He rolled his eyes. "Fine, but only if you do your share of the paperwork."

"That's not fair, Captain; I'm sick, remember."

"Yeah, that's what I thought."

...

Later that evening Momo had wondered into the office and she and Rangiku were happily chatting away and drinking tea on the couch. Toushiro had to admit that their blissful chatter lifted his spirits somewhat, even if they were talking about nail polish and facials.

"I need more male friends," he sighed, shaking his head.

Momo giggled softly.

"Can you feel the testosterone leaving your body, Captain?" Rangiku chortled.

He rolled his eyes and went back to his paperwork. "Hey, Rangiku, have you seen the report from the team we sent to the _Rukongai_?"

She frowned slightly, "Nope."

"That's odd; it should have been in by yesterday."

"Maybe it got held up in transport," Momo suggested.

"I suppose," he leaned back into his chair and rubbed his wrist. "I shouldn't worry about it. They're good men; it'll be in soon."

He really shouldn't have been worried; a few days tardiness wasn't uncommon if a platoon was stationed outside of the _Seireitei_. But he still felt concerned; there had been a slight increase in the number of hollows over the months. It was nothing too serious and his men could handle the danger. Still, he had sent another tea as backup just to be safe. They had left two weeks ago, but he hadn't heard anything from them since. He had been hoping that the report would ease his mind on the matter, however it was late and –

"If you keep frowning like that you're going to get wrinkles, Shiro," Momo sang.

"Shut up, Bed-wetter,"

"Shiro! Don't call me that; that's mean."

He smiled slightly and closed the outpost team's file. "I think I'm going to head in for the night."

"Captain," Rangiku gasped, "It's still light out! Are you feeling well?"

He rolled his eyes. "Weren't you just giving me grief about working too hard? There's no pleasing you, is there?"

Rangiku grinned and jumped up from the couch. "Come on, Momo, we should head in too. We can get started early on baking cookies!"

Toushiro hid a chuckle as he left the two in the office. Maybe taking care of Momo wouldn't be so hard after all. She really did seem like she was going to get better.

...

"I told you he was full of surprises."

"Yes, but the game has barely begun."

* * *

**The definition of stress by Hans Selye - the scientist who coined the term.**

**This was a calm chapter before the impending doom. Also, to the people who were concerned, this is not going to be a HitsuHina story. I consider them to be siblings and therefore not romantically attracted to one another.**

** Someone almost guessed correctly who is pulling the strings behind it all :) ****Leave a thought on your way out?**

**- Mymomomo**


	3. The Problems with an Uphill Battle

Part One - Recovery

Chapter Three - The Problems with an Uphill Battle

...

"I'll give you the first move, old friend."

"Are you sure that's the wisest option? I've been setting the board while you sat and watched."

"I've seen that, but I prefer a more elusive strategy."

"Very well, but remember the one to strike first usually wins."

"Usually."

...

_The trust of the innocent is the liar's most useful tool – Steven King_

...

"Shiro, where's Captain Aizen?" Momo asked suddenly.

Toushiro had been halfway through writing his signature when his arm jerked, causing the wooden nib on his pen to break and an angry splotch of ink soaked into the paper. He raised his head and blinked a few times trying not to let panic rise to his face. It had been a week since Momo's release from the Fourth; he should have been prepared for this question. He had rehearsed the answer in his mind a million times over, so why had his throat gone dry?

"What?" he choked out.

"Captain Aizen hasn't visited me at all, so I was just wondering where he was. Is he really that busy?"

"Um... well," _he's rotting away in Muken never to see the light of day._

"He's out on a mission, Momo," Rangiku sighed from behind a magazine.

"But that was a week ago," Momo sighed, looking deflated.

"It's a long term mission, so just sit tight, okay."

Toushiro had never been more thankful for his lieutenant. But really, he should have been able answer that simple of a question. He grumbled as he noticed the mess he had made of his paperwork. He'd have to redo the file; thankfully it wasn't anything too important, just a requisition which he could easily rewrite in a matter of minutes. He needed a new pen though. He sighed; this was why he preferred brushes to the new bamboo pens Matsumoto had made him try.

"What kind of mission? Is there anything I can do to help him?" Momo asked, brightening slightly.

He took a deep breath and shut his eyes momentarily; Rangiku's shoulders tensed minutely.

"He's on a recon mission," he muttered, looking back to his spoilt paperwork. "Hollows have been popping up in different parts of _Rukongai_." It wasn't a complete lie, except it was his men investigating the situation and not Aizen.

"Can I go help him?" Momo clutched the back of the couch. Her eyebrows rose in question and her eyes widened hopefully.

He scratched the back of his neck, "No, and besides you're in no condition to go out and fight any hollows."

She pouted. "Neither are you."

He raised an eyebrow. "Which is why I'm not out there, bed-wetter."

"Shiro, stop calling me that," Momo groaned and covered her face in slight embarrassment.

Toushiro felt the corners of his mouth twinge upwards as he rummaged through his drawers for a new pen. Momo turned to Rangiku with a frown and folded arms, giving Toushiro her back. Grinning, Rangiku held out her magazine to Momo.

"But I'm glad that Captain Aizen wasn't injured in the accident." Momo said wistfully, ignoring the magazine.

Toushiro clenched his jaw.

"Read this article; you wouldn't believe the things they come up with in the world of the living. We're so behind on the times here, it's sad actually." Rangiku rolled up the magazine and tapped her on the nose with it.

Momo scooted back from the blond woman and gingerly took the magazine from her hands. "What's it about?"

"Makeup that decreases wrinkles. Have you ever heard of such a thing?"

"Oh Rangiku," Momo giggled, "You don't have to worry about wrinkles yet; you're not that old."

Toushiro really should have been on Rangiku's back to get her to work, but she had been such a good distraction for Momo that he decided to cut her some slack this past week. The paperwork had been surprisingly light lately, so as long as Rangiku made herself useful in other ways he didn't mind taking care of her share alongside his own.

Momo had been very inquisitive the past week. She did not complain as she followed him and Rangiku around, but asked many questions about her stay in the Tenth. She had noticed a few small differences in the way things were being handled around the division. That also brought up the question of how long she had been unconscious for, since any sort of change took millennia in the Soul Society. Toushiro knew that some lies wouldn't add up; Momo was smart and would figure out that they were hiding something from her. At least she seemed to be getting better.

Yet, with all her progress, Toushiro did not know how much longer he could keep on walking on eggshells around his sister; his nerves were already raw after a week. He knew that he was dreading the day she re-gained her memories, even though he denied it with ever fibre in his being. However, keeping up this act was tiring, and a part of him earnestly wanted Momo to be well again. Still, every time she opened her mouth he felt the smallest bit nervous. With each question she asked she was closer to recovering her memory. He had to keep on reminding himself that it was a good thing.

His shoulder twinged slightly and he absentmindedly reached up to rub it.

"Oh, Captain, don't you have a session with Captain Unohana today?" Rangiku asked, studying his movements like a hawk.

He paused and nodded. "Yes, I probably should be going now. Rangiku, do you think you can finish up the paperwork while I'm gone?"

Rangiku scrunched up her face, "But-"

"I can help," Momo exclaimed.

Toushiro frowned, and he looked for his lieutenant to his sister. "I don't think-"

"Oh, come on, I'm a lieutenant; I know how to handle a little paperwork. I'm not going to mess anything up and I have nothing better to do."

He scratched the back of his neck again. "Well, I suppose..." he turned to Rangiku and sent her a glare as if to say 'make sure she doesn't get into anything serious'.

Rangiku nodded. "Momo are you really forcing me to work? After all I've done for you?"

Toushiro rolled his eyes as he left the office. Their playful banter followed him down the corridor and he smiled a bit.

...

Unohana remarked on his good mood when he arrived at the Fourth and he gave her a brief summary of Momo's week. She was happy to hear that Momo was getting back into her life so well and told Toushiro to keep up the good work. He quickly changed into a pair of running shorts – provided by none other than Rangiku – and a tank top and they began their session. Even though Toushiro had healed enough that he could walk on his own, he was nowhere near the strength he needed to be. Ten minutes on the treadmill had his thigh screaming in agony and he began to run with a pronounced limp, eagerly waiting until she said that he could stop. Unohana unsympathetically made notes on her clipboard and moved him through different sets of exercises. At the end of the session he was drenched in sweat and breathing much heavier than he would have cared to admit. Unohana waited until he had rested a bit then led him to an examination room and had him hop up on a paper-lined bench.

"Your muscles are pretty tense, more so than they should be after exercising," she observed as she made him lie on his back and ran her fingers down his thigh. "Have you been doing your stretches every night?"

He chewed the inside of his cheek. With everything that had been going on he had forgotten about stretching. "Sorry, I forgot. I've been preoccupied and they slipped my mind."

She pursued her lips and poked a few places on his leg. He grunted as she ran over a sensitive spot.

"I'll give you a quick massage, but I think we might have let you off the crutch prematurely. I don't like the look of this muscle, it feels swollen. Have you been feeling any pain?"

"A bit more than usual, but really it's just been sore especially if I stand up too long." He sighed at the thought of having to use a crutch again.

"And your shoulder?"

"It twinges from time to time, but nothing too bad."

She nodded. "Then the trouble will be with your leg; we need to take it easy until your muscles are fully healed."

"I've been spending most of my time at my desk, and I haven't been walking or standing that much."

"That's not the best thing either, Captain Hitsugaya, apart from our sessions you need to find small ways to work your muscles. We've taken a few steps backwards this week."

Toushiro let out a frustrated sigh.

"Don't worry about it too much, healing is a journey of many ups and downs. And you have been progressing at a healthy rate."

He hissed when she prodded a spot on the outside of his thigh and tried to hold still and not kick her in the face.

"Yes, you need to build up a little more muscle here. I'll say maybe two to three more weeks, and then we'll see how you do without the crutch."

...

Toushiro couldn't find it in him to put up a facade when he came across his men on his way back to his office. He avoided all eye contact, since he knew that they were staring at his crutch and he may or may not have glared more darkly than necessary.

_This is ridiculous, _he thought, _I should be better by now._

Hyourinmaru rumbled, _You don't need to push yourself so hard. No one is expecting you to be in top shape so soon after the war. The whole of the Seireitei is still recovering; this is no race, Little One._

Toushiro sighed; the dragon was right. He was always right. But, he still felt as if he had failed and he glared at his left thigh. None of the other captains had lost a leg. They had all been up and about in relatively short times while he had been stuck in bed. He ground his teeth together.

Hyourinmaru let out a great sigh. _This is not a sign of strength. You will get better in time. _

He nodded but still felt bitter and pushed open the door to his office. Rangiku had been snoozing on the couch, but shot up when she heard him enter. She frowned in confusion when she saw that he was back to using a crutch but made no comment as he hobbled to his desk. Momo let out a loud gasp from her position at Rangiku's desk.

"What happened, Shiro? Why do you have to use a crutch again?"

He clenched his jaw and sat down. He roughly yanked open a drawer, almost pulling it off the tracks, and slapped a thick manila file on his desk.

"Shiro?" Momo asked softly, "Why are you angry?"

He took a deep breath in an attempt to calm down. "Unohana said I wasn't strong enough to walk without a crutch yet. I strained a muscle or something."

"Oh, that's terrible," Momo exclaimed, "does it hurt? Do you need anything? Oh I know; I'll make you some tea." She jumped up from her seat and shuffled out the door. "I'll be right back."

He sighed heavily as she left.

"Don't worry about it, Captain, I can't tell you how many times I almost got a lung infection last month. Unohana had me on antibiotics for at least two weeks."

He raised an eyebrow. "And you didn't tell me any of this?"

She waved him off. "It wasn't important-"

"Not important? Rangiku-"

"All that matters is I'm better now. What I mean is there are going to be ups and downs, so don't take it too hard when things don't go perfectly."

He paused. "That's wise of you..."

She smiled. "What do you say we call it a day? You look like you could use some rest."

"Nice try. We're staying here until we're done. Did you even do any work while I was gone?"

"I had to keep the important stuff away from Momo, so yes, I did a bit."

He shook his head and opened the file he had set on his desk. However, upon seeing the first page he began to frown. This was the same report from a week ago. The file hadn't been updated in a week. Normally he would attribute it to Rangiku never doing her work, but this was the file from the squad he had sent to monitor _Rukongai_ hollow activity. After receiving their report almost two days late he had pushed the incident to the back of his mind. Nothing had been terribly wrong; they had dealt with the hollows and the backup team he had sent was well received. But that was all last week, if nothing was wrong why were they taking so long to report? Something was off and he had a feeling it wasn't a problem with communication.

"Rangiku, have you gotten any new reports from the _Rukongai_ platoon?" he asked.

She tilted her head and turned around to look at him. "Them again? Is something wrong?"

"I don't know."

"Do you want me to put together another team to check on them?"

He shook his head. "No I already sent a backup squad, but I would like to know why they are so negligent with their reports."

She put a finger to her lips. "There haven't been any strange hollows have there? I mean, sure, there have been more than normal, but nothing too dangerous right?"

"Nothing above regular class."

"Then they're probably just tired, not all of us have your worth ethic, Captain."

He shook his head and closed the file. He would give them three days before he would start investigating.

"Momo's taking long with the tea," Rangiku mused aloud, "I'll go check on her."

He nodded and went back to work.

...

The next morning he had barely sat down behind his desk when Matsumoto barged into the office looking frazzled. Her hair was a mess, like she hadn't brushed it and she looked like she had pulled on her uniform in a blind rush.

"Momo!" she called frantically. "Is she in here?"

Toushiro stood up, his eyes had gone wide. "She's missing?"

Rangiku swallowed. "She's not in her room, not in the bath house, the mess hall, or the kitchen; I checked everywhere!"

Toushiro felt his stomach churn uncomfortably, but this was no time to panic. He grabbed his crutch and hobbled out from behind his desk. He had to face the situation with a level head; Momo had probably wondered off somewhere, she often did that. They would find her sooner if they got some of his men searching.

"Matsumoto, round up some soldiers. Have a group search the division from top to bottom and send another to search the nearest squads. Search for her _reiatsu_ and we'll have her in no time."

She nodded, snapping to action. "But what if she found out something about Aizen?"

"Then we'll deal with that when we find her, now go. Alert me as soon as you get wind of her."

She _shunpo'ed_ away and he followed her, going to set off on his own search. Unohana had told him to refrain from using _shunpo_, but desperate times called for desperate measures. He grit his teeth against the rough landing that sent tremors up his left leg and concentrated on locating Momo's_ reiatsu_. He closed his eyes and took a couple deep breaths to clear his mind. His heart was racing and he felt every single muscle in his body tense, but he willed himself to be calm.

He let all his surroundings fade into the background as he concentrated on finding Momo's _reiatsu_. Her _reiatsu_ was almost as familiar to him as his own. It had been a little shaky and somewhat weak as she recovered from her injuries, but it was still warm, bubbly, and something else that was exclusively Momo. Sometimes finding a _shinigami's reiatsu_ was like sniffing out a scent; he got whiffs of it here and there but it was hard to pin down to a specific location. He concentrated on where he felt it the strongest and let his senses carry him to her. After a few minutes he found her location down to be somewhere near the Twelfth. He frowned and opened his eyes; what was she doing there?

Immediately, he leapt into another _shunpo_ and raced towards the Twelfth. Who knew what she would encounter over there. All the captains had been instructed to keep the details about Aizen from Momo, but they couldn't control everything their men said. He felt panic rise in his chest once again and wrestled it down. Now was not the time for emotions. He had let himself get distracted by them countless times before and had suffered the consequences.

He came up behind Momo as she wondered around a pathway near the boundary wall of the Twelfth.

"Hinamori," he called, "there you are."

She jumped slightly and spun around. "Shiro," she answered in apparent relief.

He let out a breath he hadn't realised that he had been holding and limped towards her. "What are you doing here?"

She looked away with a slight blush on her cheeks. "I took a wrong turn somewhere and I got lost. Somehow everything looks different; did a few pathways get changed during re-construction?"

He let out a breath through his nose. "Yes, that's why you're not supposed to go anywhere without me or Matsumoto."

"I'm sorry," she clasped her hands behind her back, "I thought I memorised the Tenth's layout, but I guess not."

"It's not a problem, just next time ask someone for help or, better yet, don't go anywhere without telling me or Matsumoto."

"I hope I didn't cause too much trouble. I'm really sorry."

He shook his head. "Don't worry about it. I'll just tell Matsumoto we found you then let's go back to the Tenth, okay?"

She nodded and he turned around to summon a hell-butterfly. He reached his hand out to let the black insect land on his finger when it appeared.

"Take this message to Lieutenant Matsumoto," he instructed it, "I found Hinamori; we can call off the search. She was wondering around the Twelfth, and said that she got confused because the pathways were changed during the re-construction..."

He trailed off, his eyes going wide. How did Momo know about re-construction? He hadn't mentioned anything about them having to re-build anything. Yes, she knew that there was a big accident, but the details, especially not the building and property damage details, had not been disclosed. Did she remember something about Aizen or the Winter War? And why hadn't she told him?

He spun back around, ignoring the jolt of protest from his left leg. "Hinamori, did you-" his words died in his throat as he saw Momo facing him with a raised palm. Her face was contorted in fury and she was biting her bottom lip hard enough to draw blood.

"Momo-"

"Bakudo number sixty-three; locking bondage stripes."

Toushiro's eyes widened in shock and Hyourinmaru roared. He jumped backwards but it wasn't enough to evade the thick, yellow ropes that shot out to ensnare his torso. His arms were bound tightly to his sides and his crutch fell to the ground with a clatter.

"Momo, what the hell are you doing?" he shouted as the ropes tightened around his chest to an almost painful point.

Momo said nothing as she walked up to him. Her fists were clenched and her mouth set in a grim line; Toushiro had never seen his sister look this angry before. In that instant she knew that she had remembered everything. He began to let out a little of his _reiatsu_ in order to break her _kido_ spell; he needed to talk to her and explain everything that happened. She had obviously jumped to conclusions and he had to clear the air before proceeding.

"Hinamori," he started again, "listen to me. I know that you're angry but hear me out, at least. I'm sorry that I hurt you; I didn't mean to, I never meant to hurt you. It was that bastard, Aizen's fault-"

She narrowed her eyes. "It wasn't his fault."

"Wasn't his fault? Do you remember what he did to the Soul Society, to you?"

"Shut up!" she roared, her voice cracked slightly. "The only one who 'hurt' me was you, lying and not telling me what happened."

Guilt gnawed at his stomach, "Momo, I'm sorry; we were trying to protect you. Why didn't' you come to me when you remembered?"

"Because, Shiro, a lieutenant is always loyal to their captain."

A flash of purple in the corner of his eye drew his attention. He swore harshly as purple cherry blossoms began to fall around him and he heard Momo mutter 'white crawl'.

"Damnit, no Hinamori, stop this and listen for a second!"

He knew it was hopeless and his words would not reach her as he saw her eyes flash with contempt. His vision began to blur and his surroundings became muddy and melted together into a grey blob. He swayed and fell to his knees.

"Momo, no," he called as his tongue began to feel heavy and his body felt like it wasn't his own anymore. He fell forward and black spots swam in front of his eyes.

"Stop," his voice was barely louder than a whisper as the last of his energy left him and he felt himself slip into unconsciousness.

...

"It's your move, old friend."

* * *

**Yes, things were too quiet; they should know better by now, something was bound to go wrong. **

**How's Hitsugaya gonna react to a crazy Momo? Cue lies, deceit, and a lot of super sleuth action.**

**Hope you guys enjoyed, please leave a review on your way out :)**

**-Mymomomo**


	4. Downward Spiral

Part Two - Regression

Chapter Four - Downward Spiral

...

_What is loyalty? Pledging oneself to a person, a group, or a government? Loyalty and trust go hand in hand. If there is no trust, then there cannot be loyalty. And trust, trust can be a very dangerous thing. Sometimes it is best to play the game by oneself and not risk the chance of betrayal. But, more often than not, it pays to trust and it certainly pays to be loyal. _

...

Toushiro's head was pounding. He was used to migraine headaches and even just tension headaches, but this was something different. He felt as if he was emerging from boiling water. His movements were sluggish and he felt dizzy. What the hell had happened? He tried to raise a hand to his head but found that he couldn't. The clang of an iron chain told him that his arms were cuffed behind his back. His left shoulder ached at the forced position and his leg was pulsing lightly.

He slowly opened his eyes, ready for his pounding head to be assaulted by harsh light, but he was met with darkness. He frowned and looked around as his eyes adjusted to the dim light. There were bars in front of him, prison bars, and he was slumped against a rough plaster wall.

"What the hell?" He muttered as he recognised the elements of a holding cell. Each division had a few for small disciplinary matters. How had he ended up here? The last thing he remembered was...

He froze, his breath caught in his throat and his eyes widened. Momo had regained her memories. Momo had bound and knocked him out with _kido_. Momo had been furious with him. He felt a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach.

"Oh Captain, good, you're awake." Rangiku appeared on the other side of the bars. She looked exhausted, yet relieved.

"What happened?" he asked, standing up. He struggled a bit since his hands were secured behind his back and his left leg protested greatly at the movement.

"I was hoping that you could tell me," she sighed.

"Where's Hinamori?"

"We don't know," she mumbled, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear and kneeling down in front of the bars.

Toushiro took a deep breath. "Okay, so why I am in here, in handcuffs no less?"

Rangiku chewed her bottom lip apprehensively. "What happened with Momo?" she asked.

"I asked you a question first-"

"Please, Captain, I'm trying to piece this together myself."

Toushiro paused and regarded her expression. Her usually happy blue-grey eyes were sharp enough to rival her _zanpakuto_. "When I found Hinamori she seemed to have recovered her memories and was confused. She... she attacked me with _kido_ and that's all I can remember."

Rangiku's eyes widened. "She remembered everything about Aizen?"

"I'm not sure if she remembered everything, but enough to be angry with me. Why, what happened?"

Rangiku shut her eyes for a moment. "No one knows exactly what happened. Momo was no were to be found and the next thing I heard Aizen was freed from _muken-_"

"What?" Toushiro exclaimed, "How?"

"We don't know how, but everyone suspects Momo. She must have used some sort of forbidden _kido_ to break in because only the head-captain has clearance to go down to the eighth level. No one was hurt, thankfully, but both Momo and Aizen have gone missing."

Toushiro sighed heavily. What had his sister gotten herself into this time? Why would she break Aizen free? She knew what an evil bastard he was, so why would she help him? Had he really hurt her so badly that she would go crawling back to her former captain? He shook his head; it would not be useful to sit around and sulk; he had to find Momo and get to the bottom of this. He glanced to Rangiku then eyed the bars separating them. If the reason for his imprisonment hadn't been clear before it was certainly clear now.

"I'm suspected of helping Hinamori aren't I?" The sinking feeling in his stomach intensified and the words sat heavily on his tongue.

His lieutenant hung her head. "Yes, sir. You were the last person to come into contact with her and given your history together... well they assumed that you helped her."

"That's ridiculous," he growled, even though deep down he knew it was not such a farfetched accusation. "Everyone knows that I hate Aizen. Momo may be my sister, but I would never help her do something like this."

"That's what I said," Rangiku huffed, "But everyone was so intent on assigning blame and with no proof."

Toushiro sighed, "That's to be expected, but I would like to hear the reasoning behind this before jumping to conclusions. There must be something else if they've accused me of doing something so drastic and unreasonable-"

He was cut off by the screech of the door to the outside opening. A couple of _shinigami_ dressed in short, white overcoats and carrying spears walked in. Toushiro warily watched as they opened his cell and stood over him.

"Captain Hitsugaya, your presence has been requested by Head-captain Yamamoto," one of them said, "Please do not resist and come with us."

...

His left leg was shaking so badly that they had no choice but to release his hands from their bindings and allow him to use his crutch. Toushiro swore in frustration as his body betrayed him and made him look weak. Since he had been summoned to see the head-captain, he wanted to enter with a straight back and not hobbling on a damn crutch. The guards stopped right outside the doors to the First Division meeting hall and instructed him to enter. The head-captain was sitting in his usual chair at the back of the hall watching with half-closed eyes as Toushiro limped towards him. The only other captains which were present were Unohana and Soi-Fon. By their presence Toushiro knew that if he was being punished that his punishment had been decided beforehand. He bowed as deeply as his leg would allow and waited for the head-captain to speak.

"Do you know why you are here, Captain Hitsugaya?" Head-captain Yamamoto asked gravely.

Toushiro had been on the receiving end of Yamamoto's chastisements a few times before, but he had never seen the old man look so stern. Even the flames from the torches hanging on the walls looked more intense than normal. Yamamoto's _reiatsu_ was usually held with a tight rein but Toushiro could feel it flooding the room. His throat constricted slightly and swallowing didn't help in the slightest.

"Yes, sir," he said, surprised at the strength of his voice, "Lieutenant Hinamori is suspected of freeing Aizen from _muken_ and you assumed that I helped her."

Yamamoto nodded. "What do you have to say for yourself?"

"I was not aware that Aizen had been freed until a few minutes ago when my lieutenant told me."

"But you do know that both Hinamori and Aizen are currently missing and traces of Hinamori's _reiatsu_ were found in the Underground Prison?" Soi-fon asked.

He paused. "I did not know that-"

"And that you were found unconscious not too far from the prison as well?"

Toushiro frowned, "No, I was in the Twelfth when I was rendered unconscious..."

There was a bloated silence.

"If what you are saying is true-" Soi-fon began.

"I assure you that it is-"

"Then Hinamori orchestrated and executed this plan to free Aizen by herself?"

Toushiro sighed. He did not want to believe that his sister would or could do such a terrible thing, but if that's what all the evidence pointed to then he had no choice but to accept it as the truth.

"Why do you hesitate?"

"I did not know that she was that skilled-"

"You seem to be ignorant of a lot of things, Captain Hitsugaya," Soi-fon spat, obviously getting annoyed with him.

He hung his head as shame and bitterness pooled in his stomach. "Forgive me; I was unconscious for quite some time and this is a lot to take in so quickly."

There was another pause.

"Very well," Yamamoto boomed, "Could you tell us what happened when you saw Hinamori, as you said, in the Twelfth? You were the last person to come into contact with her, after all."

Toushiro recounted everything he could remember from the time he found out Momo was missing to when she knocked him out with 'white crawl'. "She must have regained her memories sometime during the night, but for some reason she seemed to have thought that Aizen was mistakenly convicted. I had no idea that she would resort to freeing him from _muken_."

"Yes, it appears that Hinamori's memories are still skewed," Unohana said, "I can only assume at this point that a large chunk of her memory, namely the part about Aizen's betrayal, is missing. She thinks that Aizen is the victim and we are in the wrong."

"And how was it that you, a captain, could not restrain her, especially after you noticed she was not of sound mind?" Soi-fon asked.

Toushiro chewed the inside of his cheek. "I... she was distraught-"

"This is turning into a very sensitive topic, Captain Soi-fon," Unohana interjected, "We all know what Captain Hitsugaya and former Lieutenant Hinamori have been through. I think we should be more focused on locating Aizen and figuring out a way to handle this situation rather than searching for something we already know the answer to."

Toushiro glanced to the dark-haired woman. Her face was impassive, however, when he caught her gaze.

Yamamoto heaved a great sigh, "As much as we would like to believe that you are innocent, Captain Hitsugaya, we cannot ignore the evidence. You could have restrained Momo Hinamori when you had the chance and therefore, whether it was intentional or not, you allowed her to infiltrate the Underground Prison and free Aizen."

Toushiro clenched his fists. It _was_ his fault; he should have been able to see past his emotions, his guilt for harming Momo, and have done the sensible thing to restrain her as soon as he figured out that something was wrong like Soi-fon had said. Once again his vision had been clouded when it mattered the most and his actions had caused serious repercussions. He deserved every bit of the punishment he was going to get. His stomach was bubbling in anger and he bit his bottom lip.

"I agree and accept whatever punishment you see fit for me," he said, bowing again.

"However, there is still much investigating to be done. We are assuming that Momo Hinamori must have had outside help; we are not sure from whom or what, because it should have been impossible for someone of her calibre to overpower the prison guards and break Aizen out of the deepest level. Even with your help, Captain Hitsugaya, it would have been unfeasible. Also, and the hell-butterfly which you sent to Lieutenant Matsumoto and the fact that there was no trace of your _reiatsu_ found inside the prison prove that there is some truth to your story."

Toushiro looked to the head-captain in confusion. He could not possibly be granting him pardon; the situation was too serious for him to be pardoned. Aizen had escaped. "Sir-"

Yamamoto stopped him with a raised palm. "You understand that we cannot take even the slightest cause for suspicion lightly and, while I go by the saying 'innocent until proven guilty', you will still be punished. All of Squad Ten's duties are to be put on hold and you will be put on probation until we can be absolutely sure that you had no involvement in breaking Aizen free. Am I understood?"

Toushiro hung his head again. "Yes, sir – But my entire squad should not be punished for my actions-"

The head-captain raised an eyebrow causing Toushiro to shrink slightly. He could see why this was necessary; the squads were essentially an extension of their captain's will. The _Gotei_ Thirteen had be caught completely off guard when Aizen betrayed them the first time, so he could understand why the head-captain was being so cautious. It was unfair to his men, but necessary. The punishment could have been a lot more severe; he knew he was getting off easy.

"The _omnitsukido_ will be watching you very closely, Captain Hitsugaya, so I expect you to work very hard to prove that you are innocent."

...

He called a squad meeting as soon as he got back to his division. It took everyone almost half an hour to get assembled and he was met with much confusion and loud, raucous protests. He couldn't remember the last time there had been a squad meeting, if there even had been one in the past. But, that was just like him, he thought, making a first time for everything, be it bad or good. He was positive that everyone had heard about his suspected involvement in freeing Aizen so he wasted no time in beating around the bush.

"If I could have everyone's attention, please," he called over the noise. They instantly quietened. "Thank you. You all know the circumstances behind Aizen's escape and subsequent hiding-"

"Is it true that Lieutenant Hinamori had something to do with it, sir?" someone shouted from the crowd.

"Yes, that is true-"

"Are you are really suspected of being an accomplice, sir?"

He sighed, "That is also true-"

There was a new wave of loud murmuring. He felt Matsumoto tense beside him and she let out a grunt of annoyance.

"Everyone settle down," he shouted over the noise, "I can assure you that this is not the case." They quietened, but not as quickly as the first time. "Yes, I am being suspected of helping Aizen since Lieutenant Hinamori was under my care. I, however, played no role in breaking Aizen free; my loyalty to the _Seireitei_, the _Gotei_ Thirteen, and you, my Division, still stands strong. I admit that I am at fault for not restraining Lieutenant Hinamori and allowing her to get to Aizen, but I ask each one of you here for your forgiveness and to continue to stand behind me as your leader."

He paused to gauge their reaction. There were a few conflicted gazes but no one made a move to counter him. Pleased, he continued, "But the purpose of this meeting is not to ask for your loyalty but to inform you of our squad's situation. Because of my actions, all of our duties have been put on hold. Any missions we were taking part in will be re-assigned to other squads for the time being."

"But that's not fair!" someone shouted in outrage. "You can't be serious, Captain!"

There were a couple more shouts of agreement and soon the entire squad was engulfed in cries of outrage and disgruntlement. Toushiro sighed and rubbed his temples as he let them shout themselves out. Rangiku placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. He glanced at her and she sent him a quick smile of encouragement.

"It is unfair that all of you are being punished on my account," he said after a few minutes. "However, I have no grounds to stand against the head-captain's orders. We will keep you all busy with in-house duties, or if you wish to take a temporary leave of absence then that can also be arranged. I ask you all to bear with this; it is only temporary."

He dismissed the soldiers and waited for most of them to leave before turning to Rangiku. A few of the higher seated members had also hung back. "The same applies for you all as well."

"Are you kidding me?" she laughed, "I'm not leaving you to deal with this all by yourself." The seated members nodded in agreement.

He shook his head. "Fine, suit yourselves. Can I leave you in charge of recalling the outpost team, Matsumoto?"

She saluted him. "Consider it done."

...

"Can you believe this?"

Toushiro paused as a soldier's voice floated back to him. He was passing through the barracks, heading back to his quarters, when he heard a few of his men discussing their displeasure in their situation.

"Yeah, this sucks. I hope our pay won't be affected."

"That's not even the problem. How is _he_ still a captain?"

Toushiro felt his stomach drop. His men hadn't bad-talked him in a long time; he had almost forgotten how badly it stung.

"After he nearly got himself _and_ three other captains killed in the Winter War I thought he would have been dismissed. And now this?"

"That's not our call to make; you shouldn't say that."

Toushiro clenched his jaw and turned back the way he came. Gods, they were right. Yamamoto had gone easy on him. He was suspected in aiding a dangerous criminal escape. He should have been thrown in _muken_ himself. He noticed his hands were trembling and he was having difficulty in keeping a firm hold on his crutch. He swore aloud and leaned against the wall as he felt something in his chest tighten and a bitter taste rise at the back of his throat.

_And would you prefer that, Little One?_ Hyourinmaru asked with a snarl, _Would you prefer being wrongly imprisoned and not be able to do anything about it?_

_It's what I deserve,_ Toushiro sighed as he pushed off the wall and continued on his way.

Hyourinmaru growled, _Yamamoto didn't think so; are you going to put the opinions of a pair of unseated soldiers above the head-captain? _

_There is some truth behind their words; I keep on screwing up._

_And who doesn't make mistakes once in a while? You can't, and shouldn't, expect yourself to be perfect. _

_Well, it's what I have to be. Ever since I was made a captain people have been rooting for me to fail and so far I've given them the satisfaction. _

_If you think you are a failure then that's all you will amount to. _Hyourinmaru was getting irritated; Toushiro could feel the change in his inner-world. _Enough of this; you are not going to sit here and wallow in self-pity. There are plenty people out there who still believe in you, so you better start paying attention to them and not some small, loose-tongued soldier who was only speaking out of anger. Who do you truly want to disappoint; the small-fry or the people that matter like Rangiku or the head-captain?_

Toushiro huffed; the damned dragon was always right. He always felt like a fool when he berated him.

_What are you going to do now?_ Hyourinmaru asked.

_It's not like you're giving me a choice. I'm going to get to the bottom of this, find Hinamori, and deal with Aizen once and for all. _

_Good._

...

"Playing all of your trump cards so soon? What good will that do?"

"Just you wait, old friend, I have many more traps up my sleeve. Besides, the game has only just begun."

* * *

**Sorry for that God-awful cliff hanger last time, hope this clears things up. **

**Reviews are always appreciated :)**

**-Mymomomo**


	5. Is this Rock Bottom or Can I Go Lower?

Part Two - Regression

Chapter Five - Is This Rock Bottom or Can I Go Lower?

...

_For at least another hundred years we must pretend to ourselves and to everyone that fair is foul and foul is fair; for foul is useful and fair is not. Avarice and usury and precaution must be our gods for a little longer still __– __John Maynard Keynes_

...

"Momo, what are you doing?" Toushiro called after his sister as she ran down a corridor.

Momo didn't spare him a second glance, seeming to ignore his voice. Toushiro swallowed, fighting past the tight, uneasy feeling in his chest and followed her. They ran down a dimly lit hallway. There were no windows, only smooth grey stone and the occasional torch. The orange flames danced, in what wind he did not know, but they gave off no warmth as if they were merely decorations; their light didn't even reach the ceiling or even illuminate much of the corridor. Thankfully, the floor was smooth and Toushiro didn't have to worry about tripping over anything.

They ran for what seemed like ages; Toushiro was hot on Momo's heels. The soft padding of their footsteps was beaten into Toushiro's memory.

"Momo?" he called again. She refused to acknowledge him. "Where are we going?"

He sighed, his breath echoed along the hallway like a ghost's moan. Then Momo stopped so suddenly that he almost ran into her back. He reeled backwards, stumbling into the wall.

"Momo..." he tried again, but it was as if she could not hear him.

They had stopped in front of a heavy, steel door that looked like it was bolted shut. Toushiro frowned; whatever was behind that door could not be good. It was shut in there for a reason.

"Momo, I don't think you should open that door," he said, his voice trembled somewhat and the uneasy feeling he felt before began to seep into his bones.

Hinamori raised her hand and placed it against the door. She pushed; it was locked. She clicked her tongue in annoyance and her hand began to glow white with a _kido_ spell that Toushiro wasn't familiar with. His eyes widened a fraction and he drew in a sharp breath.

"Momo, no," he shouted frantically and leapt towards the door. He grabbed her arm to pull it away from the door and cancel the _kido_ with his own _reiatsu_. He half expected to go right through her as if he really was a ghost but instead his hand met her arm. He blinked in shock; she was cold to the touch and her arm felt as lifeless as the steel door she was touching.

Momo finally acknowledged him with a raised eyebrow and a look of annoyance.

"What are you doing?" he hissed, "That door has been sealed for a reason-"

She swung her arm into his chest. Toushiro grunted as he was shoved back into the wall. Momo's arm had felt like an iron bar; he was left winded and very much confused.

"What the hell, Hinamori?" he coughed as he rubbed his chest. "Is there something wrong with you?"

The door was opened with a resounding click, and just like that the hallway was consumed by a very familiar _reiatsu_, one that was supposed to have been locked away until its owner turned into dust. Toushiro's breath caught in his chest once again, his lungs felt like they were going to cave in from the sudden malignant pressure. He sunk to one knee and clutched his chest, trying to force oxygen into his lungs. The world was starting to spin around him and he raised a hand to the wall to steady himself.

There was a deafening screech as Momo pushed the door open and he raised his head in horror.

"Momo, no, don't do this, please," he pleaded breathlessly.

Momo spared him a look from over her shoulder. Her brown eyes were emotionless, glazed over even, but her mouth held a grim smirk. She turned around and entered the room.

...

Toushiro woke up as mind-numbing pain flared along his left arm and leg. He bit the edge of his blanket to keep for crying out and small, hot tears leaked from the corners of his eyes. He couldn't move, he couldn't think, he could barely breathe. It was as if his limbs had been freshly sliced off. He even had to turn his head to see if they were still there. His breath came out in short, shallow pants and he frantically tried to deepen them so he would not hyperventilate.

_It's alright, Little One_, Hyourinmaru mumbled soothingly, _it was just a dream. _

He let his cool _reiatsu_ envelop Toushiro's body and bit by bit the fire in his arm and leg subsided until it was just a sharp twinge. He took a few deep breaths to calm himself, but noticed that he was dizzy. Even lying down he felt the ground sway beneath him, as if he were on a ship. He raised his good arm to his face to cover his eyes and he let out a soft groan. What the hell was that dream, he thought. Momo had set Aizen free and he had stood right behind her and done nothing to prevent it. Of course he didn't, he chewed the inside of his cheek bitterly, just like how he had let her get away and knock him out with _kido _in the first place. Even in his dreams he messed up.

Hyourinmaru rumbled in slight annoyance. Toushiro sighed and pushed himself up. It was still early morning; the sky was just turning into a dusky grey in preparation for the rising sun, but he knew that he wouldn't be able to get back to sleep. His mind was up and churning and his nerves felt frazzled. He grabbed his crutch from the floor by his futon and pulled himself to his feet. He wasn't shocked to discover that his body was trembling.

_What's the matter? _ Hyourinmaru asked.

Toushiro sighed, _Nothing, it was just a dream. _

_Was it Momo?_

_It was just a dream, Hyourinmaru. I don't want to talk about it. _

The dragon sighed but receded to the back of his mind where he growled quietly. Toushiro ignored him and limped to his closet to change into his uniform. He paused for a moment before pulling on his _haori_; it felt heavier than usual. He didn't deserve it, not after he had let Aizen escape. There was a full-length mirror on the wall next to his closet, he used it to see if his uniform was in order, but this morning he couldn't bring himself to even glance at it.

He picked up his crutch again and decided to go to the office. He might as well start with the paperwork that he was sure would be piling up since he had to sort through the halted missions and assign new in-house work.

...

"Don't tell me you slept here, Matsumoto," Toushiro growled as Rangiku sat up on the couch and stretched.

"What are you doing here, Captain? What time is it?" she mumbled through a yawn.

"Around six o'clock." He limped to his desk and gratefully plopped into his chair.

Rangiku stared at him unimpressed then laid back down and covered her face with one of the cushions. "In the morning? You're insane, Captain," her voice was muffled, "go back to bed."

Toushiro sighed; if only he could. He opened one of his drawers and pulled out a thick file. It contained brief-sheets of all the missions the Tenth was currently assigned. He would have to go through all of them, match them to the full files, make reassignments, and distribute them to the other divisions. He looked glumly at the stack of papers for a minute before reaching into the top drawer for an ink pad and a brush. The first assignment had been a simple survey for the people of the Rukongai, he remembered one of his men's faces lighting up when he had placed him in charge of it, now he felt like a villain to take it away from him. He hesitated with his brush above the status area on the sheet. He glanced at the date it had been assigned, not even two months ago, and slowly wrote 'reassigned to another division'.

He chewed the inside of his cheek. He was going to have to do this to all of these missions, how could he possibly do this to his men? They had worked so hard for these jobs and now he had to take them away because of a stupid mistake on his part. He moved on to the next sheet. His men would hate him for this; that is if they didn't already hate him. He ran his left hand through his hair, grasping a handful and tugging until he felt a slight sting. If only there was a way that his division didn't have to pay for his inability to stop Hinamori... but he remembered the head-captain's face. Toushiro knew that Yamamoto was being overly cautious about his suspected involvement with Aizen's escape, and understood why his division was being trialled. But he also knew that many of his men would not understand why their work was being taken away and would resent him for it. He could explain it to them, but he knew that in this situation any words from his mouth would make it worse.

He made a separate pile for the missions he had already gone through and was about to start a new one when a steaming mug of tea was thrust under his nose. He looked up and saw Rangiku leaning across his desk, holding out the mug.

"Okay, what's bothering you?" she asked, watching as he took the cup and drank.

"You mean apart from having to reassign all our missions?" he snapped.

"You came to work at six in the morning; even by your standards that isn't normal."

He rolled his eyes. "I couldn't sleep, that's all. Might as well get an early start on all this work."

Rangiku sighed heavily, "Was it a nightmare?"

"It's nothing, Matsumoto."

"Captain, I know there's a lot going around in that big head of yours-"

"It's nothing," he repeated firmly, "please, just let me do my work."

She stared at him for a while, obviously disappointed that he didn't want to share his feelings, but he ignored her and went back to work. Eventually she moved away from the desk and turned to the door.

"I'll be back at eight, the time that we're supposed to be at work."

He clutched the cup of tea with his left hand and watched her leave. The hot ceramic burned his palm, but he did not let go.

...

It didn't take long for Toushiro to realise that there weren't enough in-house duties to satisfy the entire squad. He had made new cleaning and cooking rotations, even assigned new drillmasters for the newer members, but there just wasn't enough work to go around. There was only so many times he could assign a person to the laundry rooms before they started to rebel. He was pulling his hair trying to come up with more work for his men, but he was quickly running out of ideas and not even Rangiku's creativity could help.

The first leave of absence form came in three days after he unsuccessfully tried to reassign everyone. He approved it without a second thought. They came in by tens shortly after the first week and he gave Rangiku clearance to approve them as well. He wasn't shocked by the amount of people who wanted to leave, a part of him had expected it, but what really shocked him was the division transfer form that was bundled in with the leave requests. Rangiku had found it and silently placed it on his desk. He had let it sit there for the afternoon while he handled other work.

"It doesn't' mean anything," she said as she took his empty teacup from his desk. They were about to wrap up for the evening. "It's just one person. He's probably just annoyed that there isn't enough work for everyone."

Toushiro grunted, but he knew what the transfer meant; one soldier had lost hope in the division, in him. He had failed his soldier and he knew that it wouldn't be long before others would start to think this way as well.

He felt a twinge in his leg and he reached down to knead his thigh. Rangiku offered him a weak smile and patted his shoulder.

"You still have a session with Captain Unohana tomorrow. Try to get some rest between now and then, okay?"

He nodded and she left to put away his dirty mug. Toushiro eyed the transfer form once more and slowly picked it up. He vaguely recognised the name scrawled on the top; an unseated man, but he had been part of the division for some time. He scanned the page. Reason for wanting to leave; unsatisfied with squad atmosphere, Toushiro was sure that if there was an option for 'disappointed in the captain' the man would have checked it. He sighed and quickly signed his name at the bottom of the form and checked the box that said approved. He would force no man to stay if they didn't want to; he had lost his right to do so when he let Aizen escape. His leg twinged again and he growled in annoyance and tried to ignore it.

"Oh, by the way, Captain," Matsumoto said upon re-entering the office, "I got in contact with the outpost squad but something's off."

He raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean?"

She picked up a file from her desk and brought it over to him. "We sent out twenty-five men the first time and another ten for backup; thirty-five men in all, but I only got responses from the first twenty-five. I asked about the backup and they said that no one came. They are due back in three days, but I wanted to let you know beforehand."

Toushiro frowned. "Did you try to reach the backup squad we sent?"

"Yes, but I didn't get any response. Our records show them leaving but there's nothing else after that."

"Strange..."

"Yeah, and it gets even better." She pointed to a name on a list; it was circled, indicating a problem. "This one, Haruka Miyazuki, was sent with the backup squad but when I asked for names of all the members currently in the Rukongai she appeared with the rest of the squad. Even with her it still added up to twenty-five, so..."

"That _is_ very odd, so someone went missing from the original squad and one of the backup took their place, yet no one heard from the backup squad since they left the Seireitei, or even reported a missing soldier? I don't like the sound of this, Matsumoto. I don't like the sound of it at all."

...

"Denied? What do you mean denied?" Toushiro spat as he glared at the paper that the messenger had handed him.

"You are not allowed to take part in any outside missions, sir."

"These are my men we're talking about, ten of them have gone missing and you're telling me that I'm not allowed to search for them?" Toushiro clenched his jaw and thrust his shaking hands behind his back.

"I'm only relaying the message, sir."

Toushiro dismissed him with a quick flick of his hand. "Very well, leave; your job here is done."

The messenger bowed and disappeared down the hallway. Toushiro slid the door shut and leaned against it. He closed his eyes and let out a deep breath. He felt worse, if that was even possible, after this news. He had requested permission to search from the missing men as soon as the outpost team had returned. It had turned out exactly like Rangiku had explained. None of the twenty-five men mentioned anything about the backup squad or the fact that Miyazuki was now part of their group. They acted as if nothing was out of the ordinary. He thought that such a special situation would trump the 'no-mission' order; he had guessed wrong. But still, they were his responsibility; they had gone missing under his orders and he couldn't just sit by.

He ground his teeth together as he hobbled to his desk. He needed a way around this, but the _omnitsukido_ was watching his every move. If he snuck off anywhere they would report it to Yamamoto and he'd be carted off to _Muken_. He ran a hand through his hair and sighed heavily, just what was he supposed to do?

There was a soft knock on the door and Toushiro recognised the _reiatsu_ of Captains Ukitake and Kyoraku, Rangiku was also on her way, not too far down the hallway. Toushiro grimaced before he bid them enter; he wasn't in the mood to entertain anyone, especially not after he was forbidden to search for his men. But he knew that his fellow captains came with good wishes, so he would have to bury his frustration and be a somewhat pleasant host.

He sat with them on the couch and asked Rangiku to make some tea.

"How may I help you?" he asked once Rangiku had set a tea set on the coffee table between them. She left right after to give them some privacy.

"We just wanted to see how you were doing," Kyoraku offered. "We heard what happened with the head-captain."

Toushiro sighed, "It was expected after all; I mean, since I failed to apprehend Hinamori, all of this falls on my shoulders."

"There's no need to be so hard on yourself, Hitsugaya," Ukitake said with a small smile.

Toushiro laid his hands in his lap and looked down at his palms. "I appreciate your concern, but I can handle whatever punishment the head-captain wishes to place upon me."

"Now, now, we never said you couldn't." Kyoraku waved his hand in dismissal. "We just wanted to see how you were."

"Well, as you can see, I'm fine."

"Really? You mean there's nothing we can do? Nothing at all?" Kyoraku raised his eyebrows in mock surprise.

Toushiro knew then that they had heard the exchange with the messenger earlier and raised his eyes to meet the older men.

"You're willing to expend your own forces to help my men?"

"Any missing soldiers are a problem worth looking into," Ukitake said with a firm nod, "It doesn't matter whose division they are from. We both are more than willing to lend a hand."

Toushiro nodded. "Thank you. I'll send the report details to you tomorrow; there are a few things I want to go over first."

"Oh, which reminds me, Hitsugaya," Ukitake said while reaching into his sleeve. Toushiro prevented himself from groaning with difficulty. "I got these in a quaint, little shop and thought you might enjoy them."

The Captain of the Thirteenth Division held out a small, brightly wrapped package. Toushiro could smell the overpowering sweetness from where he sat. He forced a small smile onto his face and gingerly plucked the package of candy from Ukitake's hand.

"Thank you," he said again and wondered how soon he could pawn the candy off on the sugar-happy lieutenant of the Eleventh, Yachiru, without seeming terribly rude.

...

"Was that supposed to be one of your tricks?"

"One of the smaller ones. Trust me, old friend, I have many more things planned."

"I hope so, or this would turn out to be a very uninspiring game."

"Have any of our games ever been dull?"

"Ah, you've got me there."

"You must exhibit some patience, old friend. Besides, it's your turn now."

"Hmm, so it is."

* * *

**Hope you all are enjoying this so far. **

**Drop a review before you leave, it'll make my day. **

**-Mymomomo**


	6. Some Things Are Worth the Fight

Part Two - Regression

Chapter Six - Some Things Are Worth the Fight, Some Things Aren't

...

_There was once a man who only knew how to fight. He made a good soldier, he protected people and he was adored by all. He defeated enemy after enemy, slaughtered dangerous animals, and won wars. So, he thought that fighting was all there was to life. Eventually, he found a pretty woman to stand by his side, settled down, and made his family, but he fought them too._

...

"Captain Hitsugaya, can we speak with you?"

Toushiro raised his head from his paperwork and nodded to the small group of female _shinigami_. He hoped that they were not going to request a division transfer, but as things stood now he wouldn't have been surprised if that was the reason for their visit.

"How can I help you?" he asked, pushing his papers aside and setting his bush on the rim of his inkpad.

The small group looked nervous and one girl, a short girl with shoulder-length, brown hair, was nudged forward.

She held out a sheet of paper and Toushiro took it with a raised eyebrow.

"My name is Kaede Sasaki, unseated member of the Tenth and I – we would like your permission to start a gardening club."

Toushiro almost physically reeled backwards; he had not been expecting that. "A what?"

"A gardening club, sir. We know this might not be the best time to make such a request, but... it's just that we have nothing else to do and there's a lot of space that's not being used that we think could be turned into a garden."

"No, actually, I think this is a great idea. I don't see any problem in you starting a club, especially because there is so little work to go around." He skimmed through the paper he had been given. "I, of course, will need a full list of the members, a description of what you intend to do, and any materials you might need."

The girls began to smile widely amongst themselves. "Of course, sir. Thank you, sir." Kaede said breathlessly as she bowed deeply.

"And if you know of anyone else who is interested in starting any groups or clubs, please send them my way."

They all bowed gratefully and left the office in a fit of giggles. Toushiro found himself smiling slightly; maybe things weren't as dreadful as he thought; at least some people had a positive outlook. The budget for the next few months may suffer a bit, but he was sure it was nothing he couldn't handle, even if he had to dig into his own pocket to make sure things were running smoothly.

_That's what I've been saying, little one. You are too hard on yourself; there was only one transfer, and thus no need for you to think that all your men hate you. _Hyourinmaru rumbled.

_I never said they hated me; I just thought they were disappointed in me._

Hyourinmaru sighed, _You can put those fears to rest. _

Toushiro shook his head and turned back to his paperwork. There were still a lot of small filing issues that he needed to attend to even if all the Tenth's missions had been re-distributed. His smile faltered; forming clubs was not a suitable substitute for missions and assignments, but it was all he could offer his men at the moment. Still, it was better than having them sit around do nothing.

The gardening club was due to commence a week later, as well as a poetry and creative writing club, and several clubs dedicated to swordplay and martial arts. His spirits were lifted slightly, but came crashing down again when he got the second transfer request. He stared at the form for almost a full day and his stomach churned painfully as he signed his name.

...

Toushiro remembered that he was supposed to have been doing exercises before bed as soon as he entered the physiotherapy room. More often than not he ended up falling asleep at his desk, so doing exercises was out of the question. He swore in his mind as Captain Unohana gestured for him to sit on the examination table so she could examine his leg. Toushiro hissed as she prodded his thigh; she clicked her tongue at the noise and proceeded to dig her fingertips into the scarred muscle. He clenched his jaw and breathed deeply through his nose.

"I was hoping that we could take you off the crutch this week, Captain Hitsugaya, but it appears that there has been very little progress since our last meeting," Unohana said grimly.

Toushiro hung his head. "I apologise-"

She held up a hand to stop him. "I know how tricky this process can be, and you know what can happen if you don't exercise your leg properly. It would be a pity if you had to use a cane for the rest of your life."

Toushiro chewed the inside of his cheek at the off-handed warning.

Unohana surprised him by sitting down next to him on the examination table. "I know these past two weeks have been trying for you, and I can understand how stressed you are right now, but, please Captain Hitsugaya, do not put your health at risk."

"I... I wasn't..." he paused, unsure what to say.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

He shook his head. "No, I really do appreciate your concern, but as I've told everyone else, I can handle myself. All of this is something I've dealt with before."

Unohana raised her eyebrows in mild surprise but she also managed to look extremely knowing at the same time. "Is that so? Because I would have thought that this exact situation is a first for us all. Now, do you need to talk to anyone?"

Toushiro shook his head again. "No, not right now, at least."

"Very well then, we'll start with the treadmill and then move onto floor exercises."

...

Toushiro found that he was more exhausted than usual after his physiotherapy session. He wanted to crawl into his futon a sleep for a few days. Maybe then he'd wake up to realise that all of this was a bad dream. But, as he neared his office he recognised the voices of Captains Ukitake and Kyoraku. Sleep would have to wait.

"Ahh, Captain Hitsugaya," Kyoraku smiled as Toushiro entered the office.

Rangiku had served them tea and a small selection of _wagashi_ cakes, and was chatting animatedly with them, but stopped and smiled brightly when she saw Toushiro enter.

"Captain, how was physio today?" she asked brightly.

He sighed softly and sat down next to her on the couch. "It was fine."

Rangiku's smile faltered somewhat, but she didn't press him further. He turned to the two other captains and clasped his hands in his lap. "How can I help the two of you?"

"We've gotten the report back from the _Rukongai_. It was rather interesting, and we think you should take a look, before we decide on how to pursue this further." Ukitake held out a small stack of papers.

Toushiro wordlessly took them, scanned the first page and felt as if there was a knife in his stomach. There had been an increase in hollow activity since his squad had been called back roughly a week ago. He hadn't expected the increase; his team's reports said that there wasn't a marked increase in hollows, but Ukitake's report said otherwise. He frowned and continued on to the next page. This page detailed the attacks and described the hollows; for an unknown reason his spine began to tingle. When he neared the bottom of the page the knife in his gut twisted painfully and he had to read the paragraph twice to be sure. Around the same time that his squad had been recalled the number of hollows had increased by ten; the exact number of men that were missing. Ukitake's squad had been tracking the hollows' _reiatsu_ signatures and keeping tabs on their activities. According to the report, the number had increased overnight. His eyes widened and he looked back to Kyoraku and Ukitake.

"So what do you think?" Kyoraku asked upon seeing Toushiro's expression.

"I... I don't know how to explain this," Toushiro muttered.

Kyoraku hummed, "Neither do we. I'm sure you've heard of the experiments through which Aizen turned_shinigami_ into _visored_ and hollows. Unfortunately, this seems eerily similar to what he did a hundred years ago."

Toushiro sighed as a his gut twisted again. The details about Aizen's experiments on _shinigami_ were made public knowledge during the Winter War when the _Gotei_ Thirteen had to team up with the _visored_ from the World of the Living.

"We cross-checked this with the reports you sent us earlier," Ukitake said, "It could be a coincidence, but with Aizen on the loose it more than likely it isn't."

A hard lump had wedged itself in Toushiro's throat and he suddenly found it hard to breathe. His shoulder and leg began to burn slightly. This was entirely his fault; if he had just restrained Hinamori then none of this would have happened. He clenched his jaw and took a few deep breaths, hoping that no one would notice. Rangiku noticed, however, and she handed him a cup of tea, making sure that her fingers brushed against his as he took the cup from her.

"Can we do any more investigating?" Toushiro asked softly.

Ukitake nodded. "We still need to verify that the hollows' _reiatsu_ signature matched those of your men. Right now we're only working with numbers, so the details are still very hazy."

"And have you told anyone else about this?"

Ukitake shook his head.

"I... I think we should go to the head-captain."

Rangiku turned towards him with a deep frown on her face. "Captain? I don't think that's a good idea."

"The Tenth is not supposed to be handling any outside missions, Rangiku. This situation is out of my hands."

Her frown deepened. "Captain-"

"Not now, Matsumoto."

She closed her mouth, but he could tell that she was not going to let this rest.

"I think we should do more investigating before we bring this to everyone else's attention," Kyoraku sighed. "We don't have much evidence and I, for one, would like to make sure this _is_ Aizen's handiwork before sounding the alarms. Everyone's worked up enough as it is; we need to examine the situation properly before we cause any more panic. Jyushiro and I will do our best, but you just sit tight, Toushiro."

"It's Captain Hitsugaya," Toushiro mumbled, "Thank you. I cannot tell you how much I appreciate this."

Kyoraku nodded and Ukitake smiled gently.

When the two men left Toushiro turned to Rangiku. She was still scowling as she moved to clear the table.

"I thought we were past this, Matsumoto. You haven't questioned my authority in company for a while now."

"That's because you've always made good calls, before now."

He took a deep breath. "Explain."

"I don't want to chastise you, Captain, but don't you understand our situation? We're being accused of working with Aizen," Rangiku said, her eyes flashing.

"I'm well aware of that, thank you very much."

Rangiku folded her arms across her chest and stared at him for a moment. "Then you cannot turn this mission over to Yamamoto. What will he think when he hears that _our_ men are the ones that turned into hollows? That's more evidence to stack up against us; it ties us closer to Aizen-"

"Well, it's not true; we aren't even sure of the situation ourselves. Plus, I would never sacrifice my own men. I'm surprised you'd think that, Matsumoto-"

"I don't think that, but they – Yamamoto, Soi Fon, the Central Forty-six – are looking for any reason to incarcerate us. They don't care if it's true or not."

"If the evidence is false then they can't-"

"They can and you know it!"

There were few times that Rangiku raised her voice at her captain. She often played around; calling out after him and yelling to tease him, but she rarely, if ever, shouted over him. The office was dead silent for a few minutes as they stared each other down. Rangiku's chest rose and fell as if she had just returned from a battle. Toushiro clenched and unclenched his jaw and his left hand subconsciously went to rub his right shoulder.

"I'll get into more trouble if they find out I was hiding something from them," he eventually muttered.

"Then we have to dig a bit more to find anything that will not incriminate us when we turn the case over to them. Please, Captain, you should know how slippery these things are..."

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "Fine, Matsumoto, I'll wait before going to Yamamoto."

"Thank you, Captain."

...

He didn't sleep well that night, even after he had exhausted himself with his exercises. He woke up at least once every hour and, when dawn rolled around, his eyes felt like charcoal: dry and grainy. Still, he dragged himself out of bed and put on his mask of indifference as he made his way to his office. Matsumoto was not in yet, of course, and he decided that it was best to brew a cup of tea before starting any work.

Just as he was about the slide open the office door, a hot cup of green tea in his hand, his seventh seat came jogging up to him.

"Captain Hitsugaya, Captain Hitsugaya!" the man shouted.

Toushiro looked over his shoulder and sighed inwardly; what did he need so urgently so early in the morning?

"Captain Hitsugaya!"

"Yes?" he replied and turned around, wincing as some of the tea splashed over the rim of the cup.

"Is it true, sir?"

He leaned against his crutch as he switched the mug from his right hand to his left to shake away the scalding drops. "Is what true?"

"There's a rumour going around, sir, that the squad that was monitoring hollows in the _Rukongai_ went missing and when you found them they were all hollows."

Toushiro almost dropped his cup. He blinked a few times as his heart began to thud heavily in his chest and his mouth went dry. "Where did you hear that?" he asked, narrowing his eyes.

"I can't remember from whom exactly, but a few people were talking about it last night. They said they saw the report."

Toushiro swallowed heavily. No one was supposed to know about this, especially not every soldier in the division. How had they gotten the report? It should have been locked up in his office last night; he thought that no one besides Rangiku and himself had access to the office. He also knew that if the soldiers knew about the report, it wouldn't take long before the other captains and Yamamoto found out. A sudden chill began to creep through his body, starting at his stomach and working its way outwards.

"Captain Hitsugaya, sir?"

His eyes snapped back to the man. "That was confidential information. I don't know how you found out, but it would be best if you forgot it. We are unsure if this situation is false or not, so I would appreciate if you didn't spread rumours."

The seventh seat nodded. "Yes, sir."

He dismissed the soldier and entered the office. Rangiku still wasn't in yet. He clenched his jaw and rooted through the files on his desk. Sure enough, the report from Captains Kyoraku and Ukitake was still there, so how had the information gotten out? This was another thing he would have to investigate. It would not do to have an information leak in the division. Plus, his squad was already disheartened about the fact that they were on a form of probation, and finding out that some of their fellow soldiers had been turned into hollows would be adding salt to their wounds. He ran a hand roughly through his hair and plopped down into his seat. Why was it that everything seemed to be falling through his fingers the harder he tried to grasp at it? He chewed his bottom lip and clutched the edge of his desk with his good hand. He gripped the wood so tightly that he felt his nails start to push against their beds, but the sickness that had risen in his stomach drew most of his attention.

_Toushiro,_ Hyourinmaru rumbled.

_Everything is going to shit, Hyourinmaru. My squad is falling to pieces, none of the captains trust me, and Aizen might be experimenting on my men. How am I supposed to deal with all of this? _

The dragon was silent for a while, but if he had been planning to say something Toushiro never found out. Rangiku burst into the office, her eyes were ablaze and her hair fell messily around her shoulders. She looked like she had been awake for the entire night.

"It's too early to deal with this," she hissed as she threw herself on to the couch.

"I assume you found out about our information leak?" he asked.

She growled, "I've been running all over trying to find the person who did it."

Toushiro blinked. "It's only eight thirty; how much have you done already?"

"I found the rat; one of the newer members who was on custodial duty. We're talking with her later today. I can't believe that we're even having the problem; every soldier knows that stealing information is prohibited. They know all reports are confidential; you're not allowed to talk about missions unless you're assigned to them! That's the first thing I tell them when they get here; if you steal, you will get fired. That girl knows how much trouble she's in; she burst into tears when she saw me coming her way."

Toushiro sighed heavily. He always forgot about the custodial staff; they did have access to most rooms in the division. He should have locked the file up in one of his drawers, but he never had this problem before. Usually, the cleaners knew not to touch his desk. She was new after all, but he still could not fathom that someone would not only read a report, but share the information with most of the division. This was a grave offense; he knew of a few soldiers who had lost their jobs because of their loose tongues.

"And how are you holding up, Captain?" Rangiku asked, breaking his trail of thought.

His expression hardened. "I'm fine. We should get to work."

By the end of the day Toushiro's jaw hurt from grinding his teeth and one of his fingernails was bloody from picking at the edge of his desk. They had spoken to the girl. She sobbed her way through the meeting, and, as hard as it was for Toushiro to do, he had no choice but to relieve her from duty. She may have been truly sorry for her actions, but the damage she had caused was great.

Toushiro found out exactly how his squad's mindset had been swayed when the number of division transfer forms he received had gone from two to nineteen. The taste of disappointment and failure sat bitterly on his tongue. His men didn't trust him anymore; _he_ didn't trust himself anymore.

...

The two players chuckled loudly.

* * *

**Like I said; things are going to get much worse before they get better and the worst has yet to come. If it seems like I'm stacking the deck against Toushiro, it's because I am. **

**Reviews are always welcome, and even encouraged. **

**-Mymomomo**


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